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G-SpaceIt's something like a G-Spot, only much larger
February 19 Paris Hilton of Sri Lanka
Anarkali is the Paris Hilton of Sri Lanka... only much much dumber! December 20 Marry Who?
Here you go... Somebody's found a way to marry Christmas! WTF you say? Take a look... (click on the images for a better view)
and this too by a television station who telecast solely in English, or at least mostly! November 10 A Bid To Wring Your Neck!
Here goes; so here I was happily flipping through the channels yesterday when I stopped for a brief second at a particular television bidding show, where viewers are supposed to cast the lowest bid and win the product on display... So what's funny about that do you ask? Just look at the photographs below...
Look what's on display... I meant the title... November 06 The Land of the Free
Something that'd been bothering me for some time... America - The country of the free. The country of dreams. The blacks are called African-Americans. Americans of Japanese descent are called Japanese-Americans or more generally if they're of Asian descent are called Asian-Americans, then we have Latin-Americans. But people who have white skin (Excuse me, I ain't trying to be racist) are called American. Why aren't they called English-American or German-American or French-American or European-American or something. Why are they just called American, as if they are the one and true American? And yes, the people who have been living there for ages are called Native-American!!! Can somebody help me out here... November 02 Anyone for a um... Cookie?
This is something I suddenly remembered outta nowhere. It happened several years ago. It's about the plight of Sinhalese subtitles in English movies telecast over the television stations over here. It gave me one damn good laugh after figuring out the thing... It was a Hollywood movie telecast over one of our favorite channels; I don't remember the name of the movie nor the entire story 'cept for a particular scene: Guy meets Gal in a kitchen, and it seems they were old lovers! So here they are in a dark and romantic kitchen and the Gal suggests; "Let's have a quickie!" And what does the Sinhalese subtitle say? "Api biscuit ekak kamudhe?". Translate that back into English and we have; "Shall we eat a biscuit?" @#$%#*!!! WTF? Well, it's like this: The subtitle guy had apparently thought that the Gal had said "Cookie" rather than "Quickie" and had thought of a nice word in Sinhalese to subtitle it with, hence "Biscuit" So altogether now: "Shall we have a bisuit?" October 30 The SandglassI only discovered Romesh Gunesekera last week, though I have read about him and knew about his work, long before. Rummaging through the shelves of a bookstore in Nugegoda with a colleague, I came across The Sandglass. Bought it, Took it home and started off... That too leaving David Blacker's A Cause Untrue partially read. I think I had had read only the first 20 or 30 pages of Mr. Blacker's book, but could not take it any longer. But I would try and see again. But right now I want to buy another Gunesekera book.
Coming back to The Sandglass; a novel which reminds you of a gloomy day right throughout, was kinda slow, but nevertheless a page turner. Beautiful writing with subtle and sharp witted humor. I loved the book and finished it during the weekend. The Sandglass revolves around dull people living in a dull London, their lives, their loves and their mysteries. The book gives you a weighty feel in your heart right throughout, and I think the gloomy weather these days in Colombo added to it too. A kinda feeling where you have a feeling some misfortune might befall your favorite character as if they were your family. A person with the love of gloom would surely indulge in this novel.
Overall I would rate the book 4 outta 5 stars. Gloomy person or Sunshine person, it's a worth read...
Go on people buy it here!
PS: I have an intention to review David Blacker's A Cause Untrue, but I don't think I would for a while... October 20 King of AsiaI want to be the King of Asia...
I want to be the King of Asia... I want to feel all looney and high as King Booker... or Queen Charmelle dressed like a hooker... Gas Cooker... Pooker!!! Yehi Yehi... I want to be the King of Asia...
<insert some Lame Ass rap like the ones you find on freakin' Bathiya and Freakin' Santhush, or Iraj or Ranidu songs... Man are they lame... You fuckers suck!!! You and your lame ass (c)rapper side kicks. Suck like hell... Always will...>
Yehi Yehi...
<How dare you fuckers think that you look upto Mr. Shakur. YOu guys are fucking lame... YOu guys insult Mr. Shakur when you have a picture of him on your videos. You guys insult him when you lamely try to imitate... You can never even be even a tiny square millimeter of his shadow..., You guys need lame ass dumbly written bhangra songs to promote your lame ass rap. You insult... Rap is dead. It died with Mr. Shakur. You guys think that freaky ass people like 50 cent and JayZ and Nelly and the rest are rapping... They are crapping... bloody buffoons>
I want to be the King of Asia...
And kick some phoney punk asses in this country yeah!!!
I'd like ta F.U. you guys like Cena...
and Bash your heads in like Batista!!!
Rest in peace, Mr. Shakur...
October 13 Friday, The 13thMy favoritest of days is here... And why so? 'Cos I was born on one... You would know when you look at my canines! October 10 El Idiota GringoI have this habbit of turning the radio on to TNL Radio and switch on the television in mute mode and listen to the music while I flip through the channels, watching the... um... "music videos". So, this other day I was indulging myself in this feat when I stopped my channel scanning at the Larry King Show on CNN, where Larry was discussing the recent Lurid Foley E-Mail Scandal, and the little window on the screen had a headline stating that the House Speaker Dennis Hastart has refused to step down for not taking appropriate action. It also went on to say that he also has our very famous comedian George W. Bush's backing. That got my entire attention on George Bush, and got me thinking 'bout the antics of George when lo and behold what do they start playing over the radio? Yes, exactly - American Idiot!!! What coincidence! (Most of you guys would know the significance of the song, don't you? Well if you don't, try wikiying it!)
And then that got me thinking, how we Paradisians have started to lookup to Georgie Peorgie, as of late (get the point?)... Los Idiotas Lankanos? - forgive my spanish, people! October 04 Salt n' PepaIt was last week when P-Bish and I (G-Bish) found ourselves in Wellawatte looking for a place to have dinner when we came across this new place they've opened; "The Pizza". A nice little place with 5 small tables and no crowd. Both of us had two rounds of their Couple's Package (which was a small pizza and two small Pepsis) sitting at the little table staring at each others eyes, looking all gay... But man!, I tell ya those pizzas kicked ass!!! Yeah baby! I found 'em much nicer than the ones from Dominos or Pizza Hut!
Ever since last week I have been waiting for a day to get a bite of those pizzas again. I suspect today might be that day.
Anyways, anyone here in Colombo who may go that way, lookout for a place called The Pizza on the sea side...
And you know the funniest thing about that place... The way they served the Salt and Pepper... Take a look at the pictures at the bottom... The salt in a sophisticated looking salt cellar (and shaped like a dildo), and the pepper? in a little yoghurt cup!!!
October 03 Castlereigh / WarleighGreetings blog readers!
Nothing much to bitch about, 'cept for some bitchin' photos I took of the Castlereigh reservoir up in Dickoya, Hatton; when I went up there this weekend (with my trusty W800i). You'll find two albums; "Castlereigh - Reservoir" and "Warleigh - Christ Church". The latter is a beautiful church complete with graveyard and all. The only regret is I couldn't get more shots of the church from the front and all since we had to get moving... Cryin' shame fellas... (for a better view of the photos, maximize 'em as much as possible!) September 22 What is a "Bish" - A New Word for The English Dictionarybish [bish] Pronunciation Key noun, plural bishes
1. Derived from bitch, but not necessarily obscene. Used to refer to anyone/anything you are annoyed at but not in a vulgar or derogatory way.
2. Used to keep your mind entertained (and annoy others) by calling people the same. E.g.: "Hey black bish, what're you doing?". Or by just going on saying "bish bish bish bish" without any aim or objective nor directing it at anyone.
History of the word:
We were all having lunch one day at work as usual, laughin' and jokin' at each other when a certain person laughingly mispronouncedly repeated the word bitch quite loudly: "Bish!", when Sumudu was at his usual yelling, "Shut up bitch!" at me. And that was it... I could here the drumroll and the orchestras... a new word had dawned. BISH!
We really enjoy using bish a lot. Especially since it does not offend anyone but merely annoy them. So everyone altogether say, "BISH!"
P.S. : My next objective is to add this word to the English dictionary. Will anybody help me?
P.S.2 : Any more uses for the word, bish are welcome. September 19 Sinharaja II - The TrekOkay, so here goes about the stuff I liked about the Sinharaja forest and the "hike" [ <- Please note the sarcastically quoted word]. Like I said earlier we were accompanied by a guide and three guide dogs. These were not trained dogs or anything, but just strays from the little village of Kudawa at the entrance of the forest. According to the people there; these dogs accompany anyone who goes on a trek into the forest. And that they did. One or two take the lead and the other one takes the rear. And it always waits for anyone slowing down. It's times like these that they remind you who man's best friend really is.
The next thing we saw (also inside the village) was a domestic lady pig (a sow) leading a pack of piglets which were actually wild boar piglets!!! That was quite confusing! Seriously! Take a look at the 2nd picture in my album if ya don't believe me. Conclusions anyone?
Then once we had entered the forest, perched faraway on a tree above the river (yes there was a river running through the forest!) was a Jungle Fowl, but unfortunately none of us could get a picture of him.
Then there were a host of Langurs, Millipedes, Butterflies, Fish and Crabs. And of course hordes of Leeches. It was as if we were a mobile KFC to them or something! But I still liked them suckin' on me!!! Heh heh!!! And there was this one really vulgar leech (Val Koodella), but I'd better stop at that...
Then there were the beautiful scenery and the magical plants which made me feel like a princess. Yes, a Princess on the way to my throne... I'm a princess!! Oh lord, I'm a Princess!!! Oh!!!!
See New Photo Album (Sinharaja trip - The Scenes) -> September 11 Sinharaja I - The Camp That Was NotThe office people decided to go on a camping trip with hiking and all (though it just ended up with a stroll in the park and a boozing holiday) to Sinharaja. So that's where we went last weekend: Sinharaja.
Sinharaja is the largest tropical rain forest here in Paradise, holding a lot of endemic biota.
So we hired a bus, packed our stuff and left on Friday evening and arrived at the Sinharaja Forest Bungalow way passed the arrival time at 11:00 pm. So the gates were locked. Two of our guys jumped the gate and went a-knockin' all the windows right round the bungalow and finally got the people to come out - All sleepy-eyed and pissed like mad.
The next day we left in the morning around half past eight, along with a guide and three guide dogs. Yes, guide dogs. More about them later. So we hike for around 13 km (well that's what they said), but I doubt it, 'cos I didn't feel anything! And I have never exercised for 6 long years! The only thing I felt were the freakin' leeches. Might have been around 5 or 6 kms. But anyways we decided to turn back because a 'GUY' was feeling tired. Now, imagine that! And the ladies not complaining at all. And we return by around 1:00 pm. The next time I go on a camp or hike it's gonna be with some proper guys who want adventure and my wifey (she'd go a hundred miles non-stop!). I don't know whether it's the way guys in Colombo are brought up, but I sure feel that they've got some real lazy asses.
What I enjoyed were those little bits of hiking and the forest and animals and scenery. So what I'll do is put all what I enjoyed in a seperate blog entry, maybe tomorrow or the day after. I'm also compiling a few albums of photos. I've already put one out with pics of the fauna. Just look at the right-hand column, where the photos are supposed to be. Yeah yeah, I know that you know where it is!. The rest will be out maybe during the course of this week.
The night was filled with a barbeque and booze. And we come back on Sunday.
To tell the truth, I didn't enjoy the trip much. Barbeques and booze; though I take part aren't at the top of my list. It's adventure what is! So the next time somebody decides to go camping or hiking (especially the office guys) I'd be thinking twice before I jump. I'll maybe import some guys from good 'ol Kandy, get my wifey to come along and go with them instead.
But still, I gotta congratulate Mr. P for his job well done in organizing the thing. It just takes a couple of spoilsports to turn things around... September 06 Rednecked or Plain Patriot?Okay... here's this little scenario that I'm really confused about.: There are these people who are real patriots of this country. They quite rightly oppose the terrorists up north with a number of arguments. Strong arguments. One of these arguments they put forward is; the displacement and also the barbaric murders of the muslim community by the above mentioned terrorists. Therefore it is a just cause that the terror-mongers should be fought against. And fought hard!
No confusion upto this point for me...
Here is where it starts; these same people at a different time (that is when their topic is not terrorism) bring up the issue of "thambis". Now why do these people have to refer to the muslim community as "thambis"? They also argue that the muslim community have a hidden agenda, a very cunning agenda of having large families because they plan on increasing their population in the country, and thereby trying to outgrow the population of the current majority! They also claim that these families do not submit their entire family count to the census department, and only submit a lesser number! And I have heard this from quite a few people. One even said that the department of their company (one of the leading companies here in Paradise) despise and try not to take in people of the muslim community as employees, since they are opposed to "thambis"...
So tell me guys, what's up with us Paradisians? How rednecked can we get? Or is it just being patriotic? I dunno... I'm just confused, and disheartened!
September 04 The Banana Tree CrisisI guess it's time I shut up and kept low from showing the middle finger to politics. Sooner or later I met go missing suddenly after leaving office or some more-clay might rip me to shreds. Either ways I'll be done for so better keep my gap shut for some time...
So, change of topic folks! The topic today, will be Banana Tree. Not just any other banana tree but a book of short stories by new Sri Lankan author Isankya Kodithuwakku: The Banana Tree Crisis. Not bad for a new comer. But then again what the hell do I know about reviewing books!. To me the book was great in a simple kind of a way. I guess that's because the characters in the stories are just simple folk. The kinda folk you see every day and just don't bother much about. To tell the truth I loved the book. Quite nicely done. Isankya had made stories outta nothing at times, especially the one titled 'The Cricket Match'. The stories also had touched up several sensitive issues quite subtly (That's a nice way of not getting targeted by people's wrath). I'd recommend The Banana Tree for a weekend's read and you could purchase it from this link --> here. They even delivered the book even before I got their confirmation email! Within an hour! Talk about technology that really works here in Paradise! Update: Here's a proper review that I just found now. Click --> here
August 31 When The Tigers Broke FreeIt was just before dawn, one miserable morning in black 'forty four; when the forward commander was told to sit tight when he asked that his men be withdrawn, and the Generals gave thanks as the other ranks held back the enemy tanks for a while.
And the Anzio bridgehead was held for the price of a few hundred ordinary lives. And kind old King George sent Mother a note when he heard that Father was gone. It was, I recall, In the form of a scroll, With gold leaf and all. And I found it one day In a drawer of old photographs, hidden away. And my eyes still grow damp to remember His Majesty signed with his own rubber stamp. It was dark all around. There was frost in the ground when the tigers broke free. And no one survived from the Royal Fusiliers Company C. They were all left behind, most of them dead, the rest of them dying. And that's how the High Command took my daddy from me.
An all too familiar story huh? Yeah I know I'd be getting called a tiger for depicting the tigers breaking free, and blaming the forces command for killing the soldier. I understand exactly how the Sunday Leader and the Sirasa types might feel.
But here me ye fearless patriots and enemy-boot-licking peaceniks, The above paragraph is actually a song by Pink Floyd called When the Tigers Broke Free, featuring WWII.
But you can surely see the similarities in war huh? For all what I care; war is fucking war. People Die. And it's mostly the poor people at the front, The poor people who are caught up in the crossfire, The innocent children, The father of an only son, The mother of an infant etc. fuckin' etc.
And you get these types supporting each sides of the warring parties cleaning up the side they support and blaming the other side, and not even knowing what really is happening out there! They behave as if they know everything about motherfuckin' modern warfare. There's so much shit happening that they don't know about! So many shocking things that they'd want to vomit... Motherfuckers!
And at the end you only get dead people!
And then you get these types who call you a tiger for making a statement that you need peace in this country and not war...
Check this blog entryout from Indi... Yeah and you can call him a tiger too (sorry 'bout that Indi)... For Peacenik (a blog entry) August 25 Fire!!!Paradise is on fire!!!
Everybody Go:
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire We dont need no water let the motherfucker burn Burn motherfucker burn
What else to do, no men? August 17 Tweedledum and TweedledeeTweedledum and Tweedledee are fighting for this rattle called Paradise... Why won't they realise that this rattle is too big for them to handle on their own or even if they did how they'd be able to shake it the right way to make all the Tweedles happy? Don't forget - there are other Tweedles too who'd like the rattle shaken the way they like too. Why don't Tweedledum and Tweedledee figure out that they could handle it together, along with the other Tweedles; shake it a little that way; the way Tweedledum likes it, and shake it a little this way; the way Tweedledee likes it... And of course, shake it a little the way the other Tweedles would like it... 'Cos when they're fuckin' fighting over it, no one gets to shake the rattle... And how sad and boring would that be? For even though the rumour of the crow is around, they just don't seem to fuckin' care!
- Anonymous Nursery Rhyme from the 19th Century [Source: Wikipedia]
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